I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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