Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize