I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
