We're like a lot better than the average bears
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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