i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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