My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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