ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
