i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize