so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
