i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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