No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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