Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
