He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize