I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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