Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
