Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
