dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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