Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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