nut hugger
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize