He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
sex in a hospital.. check
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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