Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
