I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize