Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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