he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
