and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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