Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
