If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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