I need help removing her.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
