The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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