Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
