he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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