he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
