...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
