real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
