How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize