5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
