I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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