was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
