fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
