3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
