I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
