who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize
