Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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