On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
