I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
