you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
