whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
All I want is dick and wine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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