we made out on top of his cat.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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