areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When are your genitals available?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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