I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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