its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
