Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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