Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
