singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Randomize
