I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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