SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize