come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
