I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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