It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize