Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i came on her dog
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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