You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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