glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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